I want to give my most heartfelt apology to all of you for things I failed to apologize for before. I also want to thank all the people I was too internalized to thank -- I'm very poor at taking compliments, and I don't often give people who lift me up the credibility and recognition they deserve. And I want to pre-emptive offer my deepest regrets for what is about to transpire.
I'm a participant. That is now the best way to describe my philosophy. It is an aggressive philosophy, visceral and active and curious; but it is not about domination or even (necessarily) competition. Rather this philosophy is centered around engagement: the whole-hearted soulful committment to life, to the moment, to what it is you're doing.
I've been doing a lot of shit lately, what I think might really be pretty important shit, but I've also been distant, removed, selfish, overriding, overly critical, haughty, preachy and in a few very regrettable instances, downright mean. For all these things and more, I'm sorry.
This paradigmatic shift, radical change in lifestyle and undetaking of a rather massive responsibility weren't planned to coincide, but they have. I'm under pressure, as they say. This isn't meant as an excuse for any of the above -- though it is an explanation of sorts. But really it's not even a bad thing. Sometimes great things happen under pressure; phase shifts, diamonds in the rough, the big bang and all that jazz. Pretty pressurized times.
Back to the point: the real reason I bring this up is that it's about to go to another level. I've been campaigning for some time, but the next two months are going to kick it into performance gear; we have to execute over the next 10 weeks. That means planning, following through, getting feedback and staying focused. That means I might become even a bit more distant and selfish, so in advance I'm sorry.
And so with all this the final lap begins. As things go to the next level, I'm going to lean on all of you I know quite a lot. I'm going to ask you to volunteer, I'm going to ask to crash on your couch, or even with your parents in Salt Lake City as the case may be. I'm going to be irritable some of the time, and if you cath me in the wrong moment from the wrong angle, I might snap a little. This happens. I'm generally conscious of it, just powerless to stop. Although I don't admit it as often as I should, I make mistakes just as frequently as anyone.
But it won't be all bad. You're going to see a lot from me in the coming months. I'm pulling out all the stops, committing to the campaign trail 100%. I'll do any interview, travel to any festival, work with any organization, do whatever needs to be done to make everything I've worked for in the past two years worthwhile. I'm going to do it all with flair, should be real grand fun, and I'll do my best to tell you all about it.
So that's that. The quest is on, and goddamnit the quest is on. Decompression date: November 3rd 2004