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Vintage Outlandish!

This Content From 2003 (or earlier) see index

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Adderall

"Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."

-- Hunter S. Thompson

(also, thoughts about stimulants)

As I may have mentioned, I'm a speed freak personality. I love going fast. I talk fast. I think fast. I bike fast. I move fast. While I grew up in a slow town, and I know the love and value you can get by taking it easy and taking it in, my ying-yang of contrast is overbalanced in the velocity category. I want to keep accelerating. I wrote a highly sucessful performance piece about my obsessions with chemical speed, physical speed, and brain chemestry.

Adderall is basically ritalin formulated for an adult metabolism. When I was in the final hellish week of directing nitewerk, Frank gave me some as part of a delightful little care package. It was great. It let me stay up until 5am and be productive on only half a pill a day. I would get up at 8:30am, drink coffee, do school, drink coffee, do rehearsal, drink coffee, call a break at 8pm or so, take aderol, and be set until 4 or 5 in the morning. Totally clear-headed, totally on the ball. Genius chemestry, brother.

Of course, some people will tell you I was a bug-eyed, sweating facist, but they were clearly just terrified of my greatness.

We all fear the things we love because they might control us. I haven't taken adderall again, and I've stayed away (and will continue to stay away) from meth. I've got all the anecdotal information I need from friends and family on those substances and I doubt myself just enough to wonder if I'd have the self control. I don't want to go down that road just to find out I can't keep it in pocket.

But temptation is a bitch. Far more dangerous than adderall is cocaine, which I don't recommend using with any regularity, if at all.

Finally, given my experience, I have to say it's a real poor idea to give many kids steady ritalin presctiptions. The way they've been handing this shit out like lemonade, there's going to be some serious blowback. The fallout is going to be years in coming, but it's going to be heavy. On par with 50s/60s house-wives and valium, I would say. Also, don't snort this stuff. It's sad to watch, and it hurts your mind.

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Trips

Trips in Space and Time 8/02/03

Big Wheels in Berkeley
I scored a set of west-coast wheels today at the Ashby BART station flea market. It's a very tall schwinn road bike, black, deceptively heavy but smooth-riding. Thirty-five dollars to boot. I oiled and cleaned the works, dialed in the bakes and took it out for a shake-down cruise immediately. Nice riding on a beautiful saturday, realizing how out of shape I am as I wheezed my way though the hilly area behind the Berkeley campus.

After about an hour I started to get the swing of it. Made some minor mechanical adjustments (including a free wheel truing at the bike collective on Shattuck), drank a few liters of water and started finding my groove, cruising up and around and ending up with a beautiful view of the whole bay. The roads here are not kind to the speed inclined -- too many stop signs and crosswalks and lights -- but it was good to get out and proj for a while. This changes my summer dramatically.

...older trips...

...context...



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