I've been thinking quite a lot about the nature of leadership, the human desire for social structure, and what in the end is Right and True about how we aught to treat one another. This is all very very interesting. That's how I look at almost everything that goes on in life, I know, but my thinking over the past three or four months has been very uptight.

Anyway, all this raises those eternal questions about the nature of humanity and what is the just sort of thing to do going forward. Personal vectors abound; will be revealed at a later date.

Getting back to the 50,000 ft level, it occurs to me in an unguarded moment that we are a world at war, and that the rapidly tightening circle of individuals in control of this nation are going to get an enormous number of people killed because they have no vision for a better tomorrow. The hard flip side of this reality is that our loyal opposition has no alternative course of action, and, in light of the gravity of the situation, is far too loyal.

Franz and Frank have both brought up the question, "have you thought about going over there?" The answer is yes. I never seriously considered enlisting, but the thought of getting closer to the struggle comes to mind often.

It's a tough thing, what to do next. I'm in this for the future, it would seem. With second helpings of truth, family, justice and a dash of personal glory. I believe we will either turn the tide in the next few years, We must be scientific, disciplined, engineers of progress. We must also be inspired, spiritual, embodiments of the future we wish to see.

We must be hungry chessmasters, entrepreneurial strategists of the highest order. That means having fun and living the life too.

Never forget, my friends, that a common street synonym for professional (pro) is whore. Having just run through this little spate of political streetfighting and come out the other side more or less whole as a human being -- still even believing in the cause on a good day -- it's tough to see the democrats come out like whipped dogs afraid of Tom Delay's spritz bottle, and it's a kick it the teeth to realize that movement conservatives havn't a shred of intellectual honesty about them. Bunch of fuckers, really. I like to think at the end of the day that most of us could kick back and have a beer. Harder to hold onto that idea with the crap you see these days.

Instances: lavish and unqualified praise for the Swift Boat Liars; this "The American People Spoke Loud And Clear" business; the purging of people who think the truth and the president occasionally disagree; the tightening of the cabenet.

Oh, it's the ugly season, when dark meetings behind closed doors decide fates and futures. The circle will constrict, and it's only a matter of time before perverse eminations -- the smells that typically accompany the decomposition of a corrupted and hermetic power stucture -- begin wafting forth. The creepy crawlies have come out to play. Four more years. Four more years. Who will rise to lead the counterrevolution?

I have a social network here in New York. It's the damndest thing, you know. I kind of forget what it was like until I get back and it hits me. It's good. It's more than just knowing people, it's knowing what's what; it's confidence; it's agency; it's empowering to have a lot of friends. It most certainly makes me a different person. The possibilities are different, my bearing is different, my outlook is different.

That said, looking down the line it would appear that I'll remain tied to San Francisco for a while longer. I'm not happy about that for personal, political and longer-term professional reasons. I mean, of all the people I met in politix this year, most of the ones I like best are here, not in California, and that's why I went there, for crying out loud.

I don't intend to diss, but it's a bum pattern. New York City more than any other locale I've yet located self-selects for My Kind Of People.

I don't quite know what to do about the situation other than to look to the long term. I can abide pragmatic (implying gainful and temporary) compromise, but not settling, and there's just no contest in my mind as to where the Best is.

I do want to see the world, and from time to time I need to get out into nature, and maybe sometime down the line when it comes time to do the family thing I'll think different, but this is home. I want to come back and live.

Blatant plug to those who may or may not read my blog and who may or may not have any influence over my future: If anyone wanted anything great out of me, they'd find a way to post me here as much as possible. Ho ho ho.

Lurid tales of barroom hookups and citified poetics for another time. I have friends to see.

This was really good; I'm in NYC for another week, having a blast but still getting up to speed with my email and whatnot. I have a loaner comp because my old screen is broken and that means I lost all my mail rules and have to chomp down tons of spam to get to any messages that are actually for me.

So pardon my relative radio silence. Things are good. I'll get back to you soon.