Going up to Portland was nice. It was good to see old friends, good to be living with people for a change, good to have peers. The isolation of Eugene is getting a little bit boring. In some ways I still relish it, but I'd like to add some contrast to my experience too. Solo Koenig is getting old.
I think I'm pretty much done decompressing, and I'm starting to want to get started on the next phase. I've got things pretty much cut out for me work-wise, but socially it's a little more fuzzy. I'm not really the greatest initiator of social contact, something for which I find I rely on my social network.
I'm also lonely in that missing the women way. It's not a problem, but I find now that I'm sleeping in a regular bed it feels more empty. I'm sure something will happen sooner or later, but I'm wondering whether or not that attitude -- "something will happen" -- isn't maybe due for review. It seems suspect.
Looking back, an awful lot of my experience with women, especially lately, has happened when I get picked up, fixed up, or otherwise just let a situation run its course. Now, there's nothing wrong with this per se. I love my experience and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I do feel like I should try and break this trend.
For one thing, I think it might be healthy for me to take a more active role in my own love life. It's important to invest yrself in things but this is something you can sort of skate by on if the whole affair is someone else's idea. I'm tired of this, and not entirelly comfortable with it morally.
It also just doesn't seem practical. In a lot of places, perhaps most places, waiting for women to pick you up just isn't very effective, misses a lot of opportunity.
Variety is the spice of life, and if I keep thinking along these lines I might even get to make out with someone. I've got nothing but time.