I called up an accountant today.

This is one of those things, like going to the doctor, which no one really wants to do. But, when the IRS is on your case, it's best to retain professional help.

Turns out this lady (who I got referred to by my friend Kate) is really pretty great, and very encouraging about me facing down the G-man now, rather than letting the penalties and interest snowball for several more years. The Willie Nelson strategy has been roundly rejected on numerous levels.

Next stop: health insurance.