This into was tacked on after the fact to explain some things. Here's the deal. In a fit of synchronicity, my google alert bot picked up someone who blogged about this post I wrote in the beginning of December. I was on a roll there, talking about the velvet revolution in all its glory. What happened? Well, Howard Dean imploded. That was a blow for me; I invested a lot in that movement, and it all came crashing down. It hurt. But now I'm getting back up there. Building steam. And now back to the original content...

The most important thing is to stop struggling.

I've been playing hide and seek with my ego for the past six months. I fear it. I fear hubris, something that's knocked me down before. I wrote a note to a professor I think of as a mentor, maybe the wisest man I know. He tells me, "I know what you mean, and it is a danger, but I think that for sensitive people like you and me there may be a greater danger in avoiding taking power." And part of me feels nudged a little closer to the edge, and another darker part of me chuckles and wonders what he means by "sensative people like you and me". Whaddya mean we, white man; ho ho ho.

But he's right. I mean, there's no point in pretending we don't have demons; that's an inescapable part of being a human being. Hello? Koenig? You wrote a frickin' play about this. And my mom is right when she keeps sending me that Nelsen Mandela thing about how we really fear our own adequacy.

Yet I've been struggling with this for a while now. Because I don't want any of what I do to be about me. That doesn't work. And yet if I don't take myself to the next level, it might not happen at all. We all need to go to the next level. Every part of the body is a sword. Slogans running on the other side of my eyeballs...

Everybody to the Limit!

Life is Holy and Every Moment Precious

Fuck the Bullshit it's Time to Thrown Down


Yeah. I'm all in. Consider the struggling over.