In all the back and forth up and down, there's another state, which is the doledrum middle. Somewhere between boredom and numbness. Beclaimed, the sailors called it. Feckless and stony. Inertial time when people who try to cheer you up are the last thing you want or need.

It occurs to me that I need some down time here too; that burrowing into my bed and/or giving over hours to meditation and other kinds of un-thinking might be in order.

Anyway, I don't know how I feel about bitching about my state of mind on my blog, so I don't think I'll be posting any more pissing and moaning. It just doesn't seem right. There are better insights and inspirations and finer dark grey blue thoughts that will sooner or later lead to stringing together words and sentences into singing streaks of meaning-making language love.

For now my clinical appreciation for this rather unique experience is dwindling. Maybe something new will occur tomorrow. I'll sleep on it for a while though if I have to.