Flashing through the accumulated images of the past week, it's a heady mixed bag. Trying to work my way from being a direct-actor to a manager. Trying to get ahead of the curve. Trying to continue my studious avoidance of all feminine diversions. Trying not to get boring as I get old. Trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Trying to communicate. Trying to love. Trying to speak correctly. Trying to listen. Trying.

And a few things occur to me.

In the smear of pint-night down at Everett's, veterans of the military and Gillman st telling stories early, Kelly and Zya creating interpretive dances to Neil Diamond, then the kids coming in as the evening sets in; there emerges a ray of light in shiny blue tights, sheer brilliance, such as to make me avert my eyes. She looks pretty good at the coffeeshop usually, but this is another level, enough to make a man reexamine his beliefs. It occurs to me that my "my head's not in it" excuse for studious avoidance of such is a self-fulfilling prophecy with real limits in its utility. Something's got to change, but for the moment, hey, at least you've got a collectable pint glass to duck into.

And from this, a potential remedy for my romantic listlessness, a possible self-concept, an avenue of habitual action. How does "power-dating" sound? It's more applicable than my retired manslut persona non grata, and it could be useful to get me out there in some way. It ties in with ambition and other shadowy forces that need outlets. I don't know how it squares with living half-n-half between here and the Bay -- where exactly do I set my sites? both? -- but it seems worth trying.

The general premise is that, hey, I'm a single successful guy. I'm trying to make something of my life and managing some success. Why shouldn't I be aiming high, perhaps absurdly and intentionally so, in my pursuit of companionship? Why shouldn't I try to find someone who wants to be part of a power couple? It's unlikely that my ambitions are going to cool off anytime soon, and I like powerful women, so why not make that my new thing?

I'm not sure yet, but this still seems like a halfway decent idea in the morning.

Finally, on another note, a chance for adventure. My great friend Julia has some free tickets to Coachella, and I'm going to try and pull off a little last-minute trip action. It'll be good to get a change of scenery. I'll take some photos or something.