Swirling malcontented winds of impotence; it's hard to watch the ship go down. Like having your testicles in a a cold vice. First a shinking and then a crushing. There's a proven correlation between winning and testosterone, something to do with vigor and vitality. I'm a little bit hollow lately; not beaten by any stretch, but empty of a great many things. Nobody likes loosing, feeling like a looser.

Everyone wants a piece of something. I'm not sure what it is that people think we've got here. I seem to have lost some of my bearings -- don't know what I want anymore. What to believe. And where the hell is this going? Can you tell I'm confused? Need to go up on a mountain or something, get my shit sorted out.

But there's no time for mountain climbing at the moment. We're getting into a big push for music for america. Time to dig deep and find some inner veins of fortitude for the next two weeks. Then strike a more equitable balance in life. I'd like to have fun again. You can't beat fun; but it's a lot easier said than done.