A little bit of the now trip: things are going good! Last week's bay-area activities were draining but ultimately quite productive, and then Julia was up here for a couple days and that was real nice. I can talk to her about (girls) things that are harder to talk to other people about around here for whatever reason. She has a way of breaking through the general feel-good supportive "you can do it" kind of friend-talk and getting right down to a level. That's really valuable to me.

Thursday I made my old bike ride to Murphy's in Trinidad and back. It was gorgeous. I roll along Scenic , which is a fantastic ride both in view and in terrain, good hills and many vistas. I was pleased to see that my half-assed winter gym habit kept me in good enough form to ride it with tenacity. There's a big difference between riding some stationary cycle, and taking a real ride, even a simple six mile jaunt. Good to get out and run and feel the fresh air. More of that soon.

Spring Awakening is on, nature bulging and shameless with it's newfound power. The sun comes through strong now on most days. The smells are everywhere, the colors, the bird calls. It's really something to be in the middle of this big biological ramp-up. I love it. It gives me a buzz, a sense of rightness, a deep and rhythmic excitement.

Tomorrow I'm headed down to San Francisco, there to fly back east and get a taste of how it's shaking out in NYC. I'm optimistic. Spring is a good time in the city, and I'm starting to walk taller, starting to feel confident about who I am and what I'm doing once more. This is a big thing for me, feeling like I'm in a groove. I've been out of it most of this year so far, and it's good to be back in the flow, clicking, high and heady, feeling like a positive force in the universe.

We just had a classic impromptu Westhaven get-together tonight, friends showing up from various dinners, a million dogs, talking chicken coops, watching Trapped in the Closet, and finally ending up drinking wine and eating chocolate around the kitchen island and taking a hot tub. Then here to this.

I'm excited. I think things are starting to happen, to flow, to move. More to the point, I feel myself tingling at all the possibilities. I realize I've been at a low ebb for the past several months. Down-tempo. It's been winter in Westhaven, the thing everyone always asks you if you're ready for, "can you handle it?" And now it's over, and it's better to be out of that.

Complications and problems and troubles are a part of life, but I seem to have returned to the space of relishing the challenge and savoring the moments. I'm skating fast and smooth on new zamboni glass, taking all the curves hard and fast, maximal force, and always always accelerating. It's good to be back.