Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
Lately my life feels very much two steps forward one step back. It's frustrating. One of my little personal mantras for many years has been Believe in the Divinity of Your Forward Momentum, which becomes harder to do when you're getting jerked around. Nobody likes it when divinity is a tease.
Perhaps I'm a spoiled and petulant man-child who can't handle a setback. Or maybe I'm an uncompromising idealist. Or maybe I'm just impatient.
Currently I'm leaning towards the latter; impatient with a touch of insecurity, which is a deadly combination. It seems that most of the times lately when I've been uptight or freaking out about something, a few days later things change and everything is alright.
For instance, I'm about to go and write myself a paycheck for the month of March, 20 days late. It's not super-awesome to be behind on this, and the whole month-to-month business thing produces the same kind of stress -- though obviously less dire in nature -- as living paycheck to paycheck did back in the day. Yesterday I was upset about it. Today we finally got one of our clients to pony up, and things suddenly look better.
This kind of manic swing is the sort of thing that doesn't really help, and which I'd frankly like to buffer on out of my life going forward. It's a pattern that goes far beyond my work experience. Something to think about for sure.
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patience and insecurity
Mon, 2007-04-23 11:40 — gregglesWell, it's easier said than done, but I definitely agree with the sentiments you've expressed and am working on being more patient in my life and would recommend the same.
case in point - 6 years ago my girlfriend and I agreed to go live/work in south america at some point in our lives. I was visiting her in argentina at the time. Fast forward, she's my wife and we're headed there in August. Aside from her, that goal is probably the only thing I've dedicated that long of my life towards. Everything is "just falling into place" for us to move down there now, but of course the backstory is 6 years of building a life for ourselves where things like that are possible.
And certainly yes, building buffers for the things that you dislike is all part of leading an examined life.
Sweet dude!
Mon, 2007-04-23 23:26 — Outlandish JoshThat sounds rad. I was just talking to my old friend/roommate about this kind of stuff over the weekend. He's been to S. America a couple of times, and has been talking about getting back to Chile ever since he returned from there three years ago. It's not easy though.
I'm glad things are falling into place for you. Fun when that happens! Living internationally is one of my big life goals as well; not sure where or when it might happen, but I'm cautiously optimistic that the right opportunity will emerge.
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