Vintage Outlandish!

This Content From 2003 (or earlier) see index

Cocaine

"Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money"

-- Robin Williams

The White Stuff

Don't use cocaine. It's just better if you don't. That's my advice solid and firm. The thing is, it doesn't even feel all that great (an even bigger nothing than e) and it's really bad for your body and costs a lot of money. No one who's ever been seriously into coke has ever really benefited from it, other than perhaps getting a few more waking hours out of life. It ages you. It induces paranoia. It's an avaricious greedy scene.

That's what the sensible, responsible side of me has to say. The truth is that everyone loves cocaine. It's just too good a fit for our common neurochemestry. It's like drinking 10 cups of coffee but without the jitters, kind of like being king of the world, even though you're sweating and glancing nervously at this powder and the people you're supposed to be having fun with, wondering who you can "trust". I explained it to a friend once thusly:

"You know how you can get any car up to 100mph, but it starts getting real wobbly and loud and unsafe, not a real fun ride? Well, doing coke is like going 100mph in a very expensive sports car: it's as smooth as glass, and you get the feeling that you really could be going a lot faster."

With my passion for velocity, that's something I really enjoy. Before I ever even tried coke I was fascinated with it. I wrote a performance piece about it's neurochemical action. It was well recieved at the time (got me laid) and I've trotted it out on a few other occasions.

I've only done coke a couple times, and I don't plan on doing it again real soon (see the 1st paragraph), but it's pretty prevalent these days, and the terrible thing (addictive) about coke is that if it's there, you'll probably end up doing it. That's the nasty truth: it's something you'll crave without a conscious thought for the rest of your natural life, just the smell, the taste, the awful chemical nasal drip. Scary shit.

My first time was on my 23rd birthday with Watkins. I called Mark the next day and told him. Seems that Shannon was riding the rails for the first time that night as well. Strange monkey coincidence. That led me to conclude that "coke is the new pot." You're better off hanging out on the grass.