Yuliya

Yuliya is part of an exotic performance group called the P-Cult which does sexxy firey performances in clubs and such. This is a promo photo.

The Russian Math Girl

I met Yuliya in late August (2001) at a party uptown. It was actually a very coincidental happening. I was pretty poor at the time and had just scraped together change to buy an cheeseburger from PFC and was biking home on Nassau, when I passed my friend Jeremy. He flagged me down (I owed him a phone call), and he told me about how he, his roomate and his roomate's girlfriend were heading up to a party near Columbia. I was feeling bummed to stay home alone on a staurday night, so I thought I would shower, rustle up the $10 (the party included a lengthy open bar), and go with them.

Got there and it was a scene. It was a lot of kids from uptown in a beautiful old house (I would later learn that the house belonged to the Columbia University Society [co-ed frat] ADP) with djs and booze and a trasure hunt. Everyone also got a gag name tag (I was Mr Magoo, if I recall correctly). Yuliya was tending the bar (her name tag: Ms Bitch).

Since it was a crowded party, we got our drinks in rounds, and I ended up doing a lot of the round-getting. So I flirted with the contentious darkhaired bartender. Later, when the bar closed, I sat down next to her on a couch and we started talking. I massaged her feet. One thing led to another and we ended up staing on the couch until 7am or so. As she would say, it was hot.

She excited all of my Columbia-girl fantasies -- a math major, from Russia, beautiful, dirty -- and even though I was dating another girl from earlier in the summer, I called her and we started hanging out. We had a real nice run for about 6 weeks (simple companionship and some championship sex," I wrote in my journal). Since then things have cooled somewhat. Something about the way we had a hard time connecting: like we were two very different people with too few points in common to make our differences interesting.

Before I left for Oregon, she called me up saying she was fed up with my lack of interest. I admit I felt it coming. But I squirmed, and we've been emailing eachother. There was a dark and cynical time when I thought if she didn't want to date me, we'd never have contact, but since then I've come around. She's just way too interesting.

This whole experience is one of the things that prompted one of my new years resolutions: so stop dissapointing people by promising what I know I can't deliver. Basically, I resolve to be a more truthful monkey in 2002. If I can muster up the balls, everything should be allright.

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